Lesson learned as a Grandfather

A few weeks ago Beckie and I attended a wedding reception and spent part of the evening talking to dear friends Murray and Nadine Low. The Low's are on the cusp of becoming grandparents. Murray asked my what I had learned as a grandfather. his question caught me flat. Since then I have pondered this question as the moments allow. First of all becoming a grandfather or Papa, as I prefer, has been a consummate blessing in my life. I have come to have a more complete view of life and why God placed us here than I have ever had before. I honestly believe I could not have learned these lessons in any other way. What have I learned? First, children are the most amazing students. They listen to and process almost everything. If you think they are not paying attention you are mistaken. They listen. They listen and practice life. How do they practice? They play. I have learned this by playing with them. I gladly go off and play anything from gardening, to Disney roll playing adventures. While doing this I have seen how they are really practicing being adults in their own childlike manner. As we play games I have learned that I need to be engaged with them. They need to know that I'm not casually listening while checking my phone or talking to another adult. I am with them. As we play I feel a connection growing. I think they feel it also. One of my most precious memories is of sitting on the cement, again at a wedding reception, with one of my older grandchildren. She has a hard time focusing sometimes. we were sitting side-by-side. I could tell she was bothered by something. I asked her how she felt. She told me one of her Aunts was mad at her. I asked her why? She replied she was playing in some water and her Aunt yelled at her. This conversation took place sitting side-by-side not looking at each other eating a cupcake. I learned something about this little girl who so often seems oblivious to the adult world--she cares deeply about how others act towards her. I have marveled at how they learn and master new skills. Think of it, they come into the world not able to control their own body, unable to comprehend the language and within two years they run around, more than most parents like, and they can speak. How many adults have mastered a language in the past two years. More than mastering the motor skills of life they are mastering the culture. They are learning what love is and things like trust and confidence. I have been sadened when one of my granddauthers has asked me to wait while she goes and tends to some task at hand and asks imploringly that I wait "right there" I have been saddened when she kept looking back to see that I did not wander off to some more important duty. This taught me to two things--somewhere along the way her friends have ditched her but more importantly I will not and I stay put until she returns. She needs to know I will be there for her. I will continue to play these games and pretend as long as they want to. I trust that in doing so the trust is a two-way street. Someday the questions they ask will be more serious. Questions they may not want to ask their parents. On that day I hope they will come to me. Second, you become a grandparent with time. I am at the stage of life where people start to die of natural causes, as they say. I need to take care of myself to be there for them. Because of this I take care of myself both physically and spiritually so that I will be there when they need me. Third, most importantly I have learned that all I really need to do is to love them. Jokingly I have heard the special relationship that exists between a grandparent and a grandchild is that they share a common enemy. But seriously, I want them to know that I love them unconditionaly. They are a joy in my life. I want them to know that I love them because of who they are. They may disappoint me later on with some choices but they need to know that I will always love them and desire to keep them close to me throughout there life. As we play today I hope that bond of love grows to be unbreakable for a later day when they may need to lean on me for reassurance. I would hope they can sense how deeply i love them. I suppose they cannot fully understand this now. They will have to wait until some future day when one of their children hands then their first grandchild. At that moment they will be filled with a deoth of love for another they did not know existed. Then they will perhaps hear with their inner spiritual ear the voice of God whisper this is how I have always felt about you. That is the real lesson I've learned--God really loves me and you with a bond that is unbreakable and He always wants me to turn to Him with the tough questions.