Tomorrow is my 30th wedding anniversary. 30 years! How did that happen? Where Was I? Was I off going to the bathroom all that time and I missed it? It has passed like a dream. A pleasant dream though. 30 years, I have two older brothers who have died. 30 years is longer than either of them lived. They both committed suicide, I wish they could have hung on and learned the greatest lesson of age, it always seems to work out. 30 years, Dick Clark was really a young man when we got married, probably about my age. 30 years wow!
What have Beckie and I done these past 30 years. Well completed school, been gainfully employed the entire time. Survived multiple economic down turns. I hate to admit I almost had a Master's degree before someone paid me over $10.00/hour. My kids have occasionally looked at the social security earnings statement that comes out annually and they laugh at how little I earned when I was there age. Likewise, when I help them with their taxes I am stunned at how much they make, yet they still drink my milk--I don't drink their milk.
We have come to own a home. This is no longer a shared partnership with the bank-- we own it. It took us 12 years to purchase a home. I do remember wondering if we could ever afford a home. I could not see how my friends could make a down payment and manage a mortgage. The biggest issue was those darned student loans. It seemed like we would never get the blasted things paid off. Interestingly, having to pay those blasted loans off (they represented 50% of our annual income when I got my first "career job") anyway, I digress, the discipline we had to have to live within our means, defer gratification, and just plain do without, taught us how to manage our money. When we eventually did buy a home we worked at paying it off. We went years without any front room furniture. It kind of seemed natural to us we must have seemed weird to those who came to pay us a visit.
We raised a dog, a wonderful dog we got him as a puppy, house trained him, ran with him, let him pull the kids around and eventually took him on that one way trip to the vet. He blessed our lives, I hope we blessed his.
In the process we raised four wonderful children. They in turn have given us two adorable grandchildren with a third on the way. Our youngest is getting married this fall. Children have been the adventure of a lifetime. They have brought joy, fun, excitement, and yes, stress, pain, fear, and heartache. All-in-all it has been a wonderful experience. That is why the 30 years have passed like a dream, the kids, they have been so much work--and in return so much joy.
In those 30 years, Beckie and I have learned to work well together. We laugh together, we pray together, we cry together. We usually know when it is time to really listen to the other one.
We play together but we don't do everything together, in 30 years we have learned we have some differing interests, for example, I like to ski, Beckie only imagines the pain of ruined knees completely overlooking the joy of careening down a steep slope at a speed just past being in control. She is the most practical one.
To me my wife looks the same, I will admit for a 50 year old she is a babe and to me truly looks much like she did when we were married. But we work at it. We eat a healthy diet, we work out 5 or 6 days each week. We go for walks when the weather permits, we have to negotiate the stairs in our house. In many ways I do not feel like someone who has been married for 30 years because I feel like a kid. But the hands give it all away, Hers and mine, hands don't age well, My hands look like my Dad's hands--old hands. Time is ticking away.
Would I marry her again? In a heart beat. For in the 30 years I have learned that what I thought was love was nothing like the love I have for her now. Now it is a rich fulfilling satisfying feeling that after all is said and done, we belong to each other. We don't give each other a present for our anniversaries, why? We both agree a present would be a tawdry representation of the greatest gift each of us gives each day. We give our self to the other. I guess that is a secret to happiness. 30 years its only the beginning.
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